Thursday, 7 January 2016

Marijuana Beyond Medicine? Researchers at OSU Find God Link

medical-marijuana

By Fran Zia
These days, you can find a strain of good ol’ ganja for practically every ailment and illness, but new OSU research is finding it may have other uses, too.

Scientists involved in the new research trials have discovered certain tinctures that can help people see God when they wake up each morning. Yes, it’s true. Your body, on an alarm clock-like schedule, can wake itself up and envision a higher power walking through white, puffy clouds. It’s not just your girlfriend hitting your vaporizer again.

Other, perhaps more practical research has led to studies linking marijuana use to more successful marriages, and long-term, ongoing studies still provide supporting evidence that cannabis can help terminally ill persons feel more “normal” and motivated in daily life.

Corvallis resident Baxter Rodgers, who was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer—the leading cancer for men in the U.S.—said he just wouldn’t sleep as well at night, or have the desire to eat his favorite Coney Island-style hot dogs for dinner, if it wasn’t for his daily snack of THC brownies.

“But I don’t know if I want to see God each morning. That’s some scary sh*t right there,” he said when he was told about the new tinctures.

Today’s THC brownies are even tastier and healthier than when they first hit the market in Oregon way back in 2015. 

OSU has taken over the manufacturing of these bodacious brownies, along with other edible THC treats, with the help of generous research grants from major corporations like Starbucks. 

The manufacturing operation has offered more options for student employees and research assistants enrolled in the university’s Department of Food Science and Technology. 

Student workers must sign a waiver stating they won’t eat the products while on the job after several individuals were found passed out in a greenhouse on campus next to a tray of THC treats last semester.

However, no additional incidents have been reported.

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