The Stoner Mom
is a blog about the experiences of a young mother and cannabis
consumer. She wants to break stereotypical notions of marijuana users,
and show that they can be responsible, engaged parents. She talks about
how it helped make her a happier person and a better mom.
We recently
caught up with The Stoner Mom, and she told us about her blog, and life
as a parent and outspoken cannabis consumer.
You’ve been on an incredible journey
of self-discovery to get to this point. What were the main turning
points for you? How did you learn from them to get to where you are now?
Having children taught me that I am mortal, and that I only have one shot at life.
Therapy taught me why I do the things and I do, and how to use that why to manage my life effectively.
A failed first marriage taught me exactly what I want in the next one.
In my late twenties, I experienced some
personal revelations that changed and shaped the way I look at the world
and my role in it. Sort of like a spiritual awakening or something,
only my awakening was the realization that it is my right, and mine
alone, to live my one life, the way I choose to live it.
It sounds really trivial to say, but that
simple mantra really helps me So there was that, and also divorce,
obviously becoming a mother, renouncing my religion, finding my husband
David, building thestonermom.com. All these things brought light to the fact that I control my position in life, and no one else.
How has cannabis played a role in shaping the person you are today? How would you describe your love of the flower?
Since I added cannabis to my self-care
routine I have become "more" of the things I like about myself. Having
medication that calms my nerves, relaxes my mind, regulates my sleep,
enhances my senses and alleviates my pains not only makes me a happier,
calmer and more present person, and also make me a far more patient and
understanding mom.
And when I say that I don't mean, "when I'm high I am a better mom." What I really am referring to is the overall peace that
regular marijuana users experience, something that you don't
necessarily have to be high to feel. Regular marijuana users rarely get
"high" in the sense that recreational users might think. For regular
medical patients, marijuana just alleviates our various symptoms and
encourages deeper, more introspective thought.
What was the general reaction when you “came out of the cannabis closet” as a parent?
Shock. I had built a reputation on being
one of those "perfect" parents and more almost everyone that originally
contacted me said something along the lines of "I had NO idea!!" I
didn't lose any friends or have any drama whatsoever when I came out.
What were some of the craziest comments or feedback you received?
The only weird or negative feedback I
have experienced as The Stoner Mom has just been trolls on YouTube. It's
usually either something about how I am "always high" (actually, as a
regular user I am rarely high) or it's something about my looks. And
it's usually written in such a away that indicates the person is either
underaged or not the sharpest tool in the shed.
How do you talk to your kids about cannabis use?
My oldest is 10 and I talk to her honestly about what
marijuana is and why I use it. She knows it is no different from the
pills I take at night that keep me mentally healthy and functioning.
To be honest, coming out to my kids about
depression was way harder than coming out about cannabis. They were
more concerned about mom being depressed then the mysterious substance
mom uses when they aren't around.
What’s your advice to other moms
(and dads) who are still “in the closet”? How can they begin the journey
towards living more authentically?
First advice is, it feels weird and even wrong to talk to
your kids truthfully about cannabis because that's what we were taught
in school and at home. Moms and Dads of today need to realize that this
is our time, our generation, and we don't have to parent our children
the way our parents parented us.
It's like car-seats. For awhile we didn't
have them. Then they came out and people thought they were dangerous.
Now they are the standard. Marijuana legalization and the
de-stigmatizing of cannabis users isn't going to stop anytime soon. It's
not going to suddenly reverse, so parents can feel a little more
comfortable bringing up pot in casual conversation.
How would you describe the key differences between the typical experience of a “stoner mom” vs. a “stoner dad”?
I think when someone thinks "stoner dad"
the perception is a "loser" dad. Perhaps unemployed, definitely hangs
out on the couch, eats all the snacks, and possesses a laid back
attitude that borders on negligent.
I believe that "stoner mom" has a cleaner
slate, ie there is no collective visual representation of one. We tried
with Nancy from Weeds but I think that was a pretty one-dimensional (and unrealistic) depiction of a woman with children who uses marijuana.
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